Dear Blogger.

Hi. Tis is no goodbye.

On the contrary, how I wish this is the start to get back to my regular grind. When my fingers would twitch on the wee hours of the night just to vomit out all the random thoughts in my head. Back during the days my so-called "life" was chillin' without any inhibitions. The days when I was not mindful about what people might say. When I was still carefree not but careless.

"Where are you now? If I may ask. Yes you dear! The before Ms. Katerina Bianca Carausos Perez, presently known as Atty. Katerina Bianca Carausos Perez. You wandered very long and far. When are you coming back?"

These are the questions I often ask myself. Skip the midlife crisis. I am better done with that. But these... are the exact words I utter ever single day.

I am exhausted. I am not exhausted physically. Not exhausted mentally. I am emotionally exhausted.

So sino ka nga ba talaga?

Ako nga pala si Katerina Bianca Carausos Perez, self-proclaimed city girl for the very obvious reasons that I was born and raised in the polluted city of Quezon, Metro Manila. And so...

Wait I'll try to recall...

Back when I could still remember how I was, (ehem) comforting to others, I was employed in one of the top BPO Companies in the country. Simultaneously, I was figuring out how to escape the maze of law school. And...

I did. I was able to graduate after five and half years. Then took the bar exam. And then the rest is history... Did you succeed?

I did. I was able to. After the loooong dreaded boohoos, I gained my license, became a lawyer, got my license ID (which, btw, use every single time whenever I want to slip away) then there was silence. ??????

I lost myself....

I dunno. I am not sure. I am the best person to give out advice. My juniors would always ask and commend me for my alleged accomplishments. But after that, I am no longer sure...

I don't want to blame my job but it did give me restrictions. It made me conscious of every single thing I do. From the way I talk... the way I walk... Even the way I laugh... Who I am again, if you'll ask? I don't know.

...I WAS that girl who was mindless of what I'll say. Who'll blog regardless whether it is grammatically acceptable. I am was the girl who would invent words and twist your brain as you try to figure out what it means. I was the girl who will not take things seriously unless it was a life and death situation.

So who I am now?

hmmm. Lemme think! Now... (blank stare)

I want my old self. I want to play it cool. I want to talk again. I don't want boundaries. I want to fly.

So while I am trying to figure out where this old soul went, I will perhaps... perhaps... OhGeesh! The only thing I could think of is to blog again and pray that I everything will be alright.

I believe it will be. I just want to have a unicorn! For crying out loud... I really do!




Love lots,

Katerina Bianca