Cold War

I've been wanting to write something meaningful before I actually go hiatus because of midterm week. For all its worth, I am going to be so busy (okey, 'busy' is an understatement) that I assure you no social networking visits except every now and then in my phone. Going back, during my spare non-academe time wherein I don't think of Civil Procedure, Succession or other minor subjects, I always try to construct thoughts through my mind of what I should write here. There are so many things to talk about-- so many that I no longer know where to start. I also believe that every topic must be discussed in a proper time. I call it 'Seasonal trends'. But since I don't want to leave this space empty handed- I thought it would be proper to discuss the second frequently asked question per se (falls a little short to 'Why do you want to become a lawyer' question).

Disclaimer: This can be inappropriate for some because it would deal with the issue how-far-you-will-share-in-your-blog; but then I was reminded of my intentions. I want to be known as the 'transparent' blogger. One who would share up to what he/she knows is appropriate. Since this is a very sensitive issue that are known to public, not exclusively affecting us, I see nothing wrong to share few words that might influence or enlighten others.

Why do you always talk about your mom?/ Where is your dad?

I am not entirely sure if I dropped the bomb in any of my networking sites in the past but just for the record, the hypothesis of all the 'chismosas-sa-kanto' are true. My parents are already separated and I am staying with Mama hence everything I do is with her supervision. Papa now resides in the province in which, the last time I checked, still single and not dating anybody. I admit to have a strained relationship with my Papa since their separation is relatively new- it happened two years ago. Though I maintain being civil with him because I know that my actions would reflect how my mom.

..... dead air. I'm trying to regain my thoughts.

Contrary to some narrow-minded people about being the offspring to a broken family, I did grow up as a 'Happy Child'. My childhood is complete and overflowing that there were even times I just want to be a child forever. To remind everybody, they separated two years ago and I am currently at my 25-- meaning I have 23 years of existence living with them side-by-side. In the case of my brother, he's already at his 20s when it happened. So again and again, no worries of our childhood- we are full of it.

Perhaps you could say that we are more fortunate compared others. Our parents assured us that everything else is settled and their decision will not affect our youthfulness (naks! youth pa raw kami). They did, though of course my onting tampo, but the rest is good. How I wish I could share per detail of why and how it happened but then again, sensible topics like this should be written in a general manner.

The wrap up of these things happened after I already took up Persons and Family Relations. Meaning, I know (mentally and wholeheartedly) the difference between Matrimonial and Parental Obligations (I guess I mentioned this before in my tweet feeds).

Just to give you an idea of the two:

Matrimonial Obligation is the obligation between Husband and Wife; while Parental Obligation is the obligation between a parent to his/her child/children. 

Easy right? Simple... A walk in the park... Mamon (imitation Dean Riano's Remedial Review, 2010)

I know for a fact, after burying myself with so many cases to fully comprehend, that a good husband/wife gives no assurance of a good parental skills. Vice versa, a bad husband/wife does not mean bad daddy/mommy. There are also cases of 'incompatibility'. Do I still need to elaborate this? Soulmate kind of stuffs?

My parents are like that. They are not compatible for each other- only that they are both too smart to realize it after 23 years of marriage. Hey. Isn't it people with high IQ have low EQ, no wonder.

It is not true that broken family would deteriorate childhood. Sorry for what I am about to say but  that is 'CRAP'. It only means that they are bad parents and marital obligation has nothing to do with it. 

One thing that I should be thankful also is- our transition from this to this is smooth-sailing. Again, we owed it to our parents. They made us feel that we had nothing to do with it and that's their problem. I honestly believe that the development of a person can be done by one person. Look at single parents, I know so many people who are living in a good life in spite not experiencing a complete family. And yah, it pays to have good IQ. My mom would always say that the reason we were able to understand the situation is because we know. I have my law books/cases to back me up while my brother has his constant conversation from both sides. There is also no confusion since I hardly saw my parents stab each other at the back. All through out my life, I only saw my parents fight for not more than five times. Yes, it was a cold war. But ever since I was a kid I know that there was a problem. It was only in College that, little-by-little, my parents explained it (again, no spitting of specific details). I also saw how they tried to make it work until they became exhausted. Do you know that Cold Wars are the worst kind of war? Because it gives you no assurance of when it will explode- but it will, definitely. Just imagine boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and you can see that your girlfriend/boyfriend is not talking but sense something is wrong-- scary, right?

When my parents dropped the bomb, I admit to feel relieved. I even said to myself- I thought this is going to be forever. It's more difficult to live under one roof where there is too much awkwardness. Finally, air! At least now, we could walk around freely. They, themselves, are living the own lives they desire. My mom said that her ambitions in life stopped when she married dad because of the adjustment phase. Now I can finally see my mom living more complete.

This does not mean I am not a believer of "Happy Endings". Of course I do! And I've been praying for it to happen (but first, I need to find my happy guy for the happy ending). But I am more of a realistic type person compared to idealistic. I believe that everything happens for a reason. As for now, I could say that this happened to my parents as a guide for my brother and I. So that we would know how to handle things in perspective. My parents raised us well loved and isolated that we hardly felt any hardship. God probably felt that are growing up training is not enough. So HE pulled us strings to see that there is a bigger picture compared to the world we were raised. That this things do happen and not just to those with MMK (as in abusive relations) stories but also to an ordinary family like us- a Cold War.

Just in case somebody is experiencing the same fate I encountered, SMILE. That is your parents' story- its time for you to make yours. They maybe your parents but God gave you your own brain and heart to make use of. Decide for your own and not let unfortunate circumstances bring you down. Believe me its not worth it. At the end of the day, it will always be you to decide of how you will live your life- not your parents. Everything happens for a reason and God loves you.

Love,

Katerina Bianca